a special announcement brought to you on behalf of christmas

i need to try in the morning before the coffee passes my lips and stirs up the neurons that scrape across the cheesegrater that makes up my mind. my clock doesn't work and in succession every light i hit on blows off and stays that way because how many of me does it take to change a lightbulb? none apparently i don't care leave them off. inspiration inspiration little glimmers coming back little sparks of light where there havent been in quite some time but the trick is heres the trick- just try to get a grasp on those slippery little shits its not easy i tell you. and heres the thing on another subject because i cant stick with just one subject because they all melt in and out amongst one another all the time- heres the thing- i know what i want and i know what i dont. its true ive finally figured it out. i want what i dont think is possible and i dont want it when i get it. typical right? right. exactly its true and ive always known it and nothing is changing that truth that ive noticed. its always been there and i fear it always will. and yes i know i know i know its not the right way to think i need to take off the shit-colored glasses of perception so to speak as they say and let go of the mentality the blame the role i place myself into again and again right. right right right i know i know but how do i make the know into the feel into the truth? maybe its just time to shut up.