Monday, November 27, 2006

and now for the wonderous vulva puppet

go here to get your very own. they are only $500-600.

Blodeuwedd is the beautiful Goddess from Whales. Her name means
"flower face". Folktales link her to the forest and especially the owl. She is made of deep dark brown velvet and silver and cream silk satin. Her adornment is Garnets and red glass seed beads. "

i was
unaware that there were folktales about vulvas.

i think i may start referring to mine as my "flowerface."

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

trippy little trip

this is super neat.

little drowning baby birds

it would be a lot easier to breathe if my nose wasn't so full of snot. it is amazing. sometimes i wonder where it all comes from. my body is an endless snot factory. i can't wait until i get a digital camera. i have gone through an entire kleenex box in the past 36 hours. i would take sudafed or something but i'm not really into the whole "just did a bunch of meth" feeling so much anymore.

earlier i was driving down this street- the kind that have the little trees planted every so often down the median- and i noticed, since all the leaves are gone, all the birds nests. there were a shitload of them. almost every tree had a little birds nest in it. some more than one. and for some reason i couldn't stop looking at all the little birds nests and thinking about how crazy it is, the process the birds must go through to build them and how their instincts tell them to do it and how wild all that is. so it was starting to rain a little and then i started thinking, WAIT! what are the birds going to do?! what do they do in their nests when it rains and they have their eggs or babies in there? and i know some of those nests are thick and they could probably collect water and i am imagining it in my snot-filled head, conjuring up an image of this distressed little bird whose nest is filling up with cold water and the eggs are floating and i am like starting to get all anxious just thinking about it, freaking myself out the way i do like when i start thinking about homeless animals and lonely old people and i'm becoming all distraught-like.

and then i finally realized that it is WINTER time and the birds are not there because they don't lay eggs in the winter. and when they are there in the spring and what-not the leaves are probably protecting them from the rain and potential nest-flooding situation.

and then i start wondering about the directions my mind tends to wander in and how it starts and where it can end up and how i really want to pay more attention to this kind of stuff. like the details that i don't normally pay attention to because i am so caught up in my day to day life stuff. and how i've been wanting so badly to start writing again, writing about something, ANYTHING for chrissakes and how i feel like i've been blocked for so long and it's about time to do something about that. like i used to have this outlet and not only did i have a way of expressing myself and going into some sort of creative head zone, which, not only was it my fucking therapy for myself, but i was good at it. it was like, the thing i was good at and it's been missing for way too long. so i figured maybe i would write about the weird little things that pop in and out of my head and maybe that would be a start. and not worry about writing amazing things that will make people think i'm so awesome and funny and interesting. because i have been spending a ridiculous amount of time (instead of studying- i'm good at finding alternatives to doing that) snooping through people's blogs on here (yes i am totally new to this stuff) and finding so many interesting people who are super awesome writers and who have a fucking great sense of humor- like my kinda humor- which is so rare these days for me to find. so what i mean to say is, it's pretty cool. i guess that's the whole point of this thing, right? to put your stuff out there and maybe someone else on the opposite side of the globe can find it and say, hey, yeah. i'm not the only freak who thinks this way, huh? cause everyone wants to connect. and i can finally admit that about myself.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

the depraved Amish

so yesterday I posted a bulletin on my myspace about how i needed people to feel sorry for me and bring me stuff and write my Amish people paper. this is what my friend john wrote me:

I hope you feel better. The most important thing about a good paper is your thesis statement, and I think this intro paragraph would lay the foundation for an excellent paper.

Horse drawn buggies, hand made quilts, and barn raising's are all things synonymous with a group of people commonly referred to as 'The Amish.' However, barns aren't the only things that the so called Amish raise. A culture as rich in sadism and depravity as their freshly churned butter is in flavor. Sex, lies, and betrayal are as much a part of Amish culture, as baseball and apple pie are of the American Dream.

i don't know where he got this from, or if he made it up himself. but i think it is an amazing idea.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I am sick

i need people to feel sorry for me and bring me stuff.
i am sick. i have a fever and i am delirious.
i haven't talked to anyone except for my cats today. and they can't bring me stuff.

i rented a horrible movie last night. i don't know what i was thinking. the delirium must have started then. i wanted to take it back to blockbuster and exchange it but all i could do was sleep.

i need to write a paper about Amish people and their childbirthing process. but instead i am writing my first blog.

i need people to feel sorry for me and bring me stuff and write my Amish people paper.