Sunday, November 25, 2007

jeezus fuck

so i somehow managed to pull a muscle in my neck/upper back or pinch a nerve or something that is very painful earlier today while WASHING MY HAIR. i guess i should have stretched before attempting to take a shower. i can barely move my head and have to twist my entire body in order to look in different directions.

i have been a crazyladyperson for several weeks now due to the horror-producing anxiety stress aneuyrsm that is the cardiac portion of this semester. altho i guess i can't use the word aneurysm anymore in that sense now that i know what it is.

ahh fuck i just want this school shit to be OVER. i am so sick of living in a world of stress and anxiety attacks on the regular. whenever i am studying i am thinking of other things i could do to further distract myself and every waking minute that im not studying i am guilting myself and telling myself what a goddamned whore i am for not studying. it is pretty vicious inside my head these days.

i talk about it so much that my friends are all like oh i'm sure you're fine, you are ALWAYS studying. what they don't seem to understand is that i am alwaying TALKING and OBSESSING about it, and spending ridiculous amounts of time at home alone not studying kind of like what i'm doing right now, and the actual time i am studying is pretty minimal. i read 2 paragraphs and i'm like WHEW i deserve a 3 hour break! ok time for more coffee.

4 comments:

sweaty said...

ick! good luck with that. i really love that photo.

Anonymous said...

hahaha I am imagining you looking in different directions without moving your neck. I know, it's probably not funny.

Matthew Pazzol said...

I'd blame the pulled muscle on stress . . . not that it helps anything. Maybe one of the three hour breaks should consist of a warm bath and a muscle relaxer?

I'd probably trade a pinchy, fucked-up neck for the hundred mosquito bites I have on my left ankle.

kalipornia said...

oh honey i'm glad you did well on your test.

please let me know what i can do to help.

if it means anything i think that most people have the 20:1 fucking around to studying ratio... i think you may just tend to be a little harder on yourself than most.

i love you and i'm glad the cardiac part is over.

don't forget to eat your veggies.