you know how back in the day they had those jif peanut butter commercials where the kid would open the jar and there'd be a heart carved into it? well i remember i used to hold onto the false hope that that heart would be there when we opened a new jar of peanut butter and it never was. and every time i'd be disappointed. and every time i'd be filled with the sinking sensation that if i wanted a heart carved into the peanut butter that i would have to be the one to do it. so i did but it was never as satisfying as i felt it should be.
there is nothing quite like the smell of dirty linen and dying and hospital food at 7 in the morning. and the moment when his nurse turns to me and says you know, i almost wish he'd expire while you're here so you'd get the experience of seeing what that's like. meanwhile i am looking at his eyes, fixed and dilated, wondering if he can hear her. wondering what the hell else people have said at his bedside while he lays there dying.
2 comments:
wow. uhm i did not expect that second paragraph to follow the first.
you know, i felt the same way after i wrote that!
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