this is what every morning is like.
i wake up and drink coffee. it is all i have left. once it takes effect (depends on how late in the day i get up. the later= the better the drug action) i feel REALLY INSPIRED to fix everything in my life. so like today i am feeling all good and motivated and i'm all ok, when i leave school today i am going to go and finally buy a drill so i can put up that shelf so i can put up my pez dispenser collection. it will be so greAT YAY!
so i go to school and i leave and i go to home depot and am getting very excited about the tool i will buy. because i am butch.
and i decide i don't wanna fuck this up. i will ask some home depot dude for advice for the best drill i can get for under $50. why not. so the only dude available is this 18 yr old jerk who does not make eye contact and works at home depot because he thinks he is manly. but i ask him anyway and he's like, "well, if you're just hanging curtains or whatever, than this one should be fine." EXCUSE ME DID YOU JUST SAY CURTAINS???
like i came in with my hair in rollers in a yellow sundress and strappy little sandals with a freshly baked apple pie in my hand?? GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE. you have no idea you little twerp i am 12 times the man you are OH and i'm mounting big manly shelves to my walls by myself I CARRY FUTONS UP AND DOWN 2 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS BY MYSELF JUST FOR FUN!
ok so maybe he hit a nerve in my insecure ass because i spent my whole childhood life trying to prove myself to my older brothers but whatever so back to my day...
so i come home and plug in the charger for the drill and get out the shelf and the pez dispenser collection and realize that the shelf is not big enough, i need a second shelf and AUGH i was RIGHT THERE why didn't i GET ANOTHER SHELF BLARG MY DAY/LIFE IS RUINED. even tho there are PLENTY of other things i have been meaning to do for when i have a whole day to myself, instead i turn on the computer and spend the next 3 hundred hours online doing NOTHING. oh well.
11 comments:
At least you have us to read about your day... and I agree that buying tools is fun.
"BLARG MY DAY/LIFE IS RUINED"...
aahahahahahah oh my god that's EXACTLY how it is..
i can HEAR your voice. oh my goodness. i'm afraid of your menacing toolery. you're totally going to be one of those little-old-ladies-armed-with-a- mean-handbag who regularly enjoys beating the crap out of adolescent pimply tools (ah ha!! ha). so am i. god that's gonna be fun. there should really be more little old ladies taking advantage of their thumping purse uh advantage. i wonder how many old people fake senility to get shit or break the rules. probably not enough. definitely not enough.
Women kick ass at Home Depot! That guy was stupid.
I had NO HELP from the punks at HD this weekend... then I grabbed their 'Plumbing 1-2-3' book off the shelf and looked up 'leaks' and put it in the guy's face and said "HERE. I need this stuff. Help me FIND IT!" and then he did.
mallow- it's not longer fun. i've been back and forth to the damn place like 3 times now.
kali- story of my life!
hedy- next time i will bring you with me.
sweaty- i CANNOT WAIT to clock ignorant little pricks with my old lady handbag that i fill with weights.
valency- i will not even go into my last experience asking crazyman who must have stolen a home depot apron to pose as if he worked there story. too frustrating.
I suggest Lowe's for any further tool adventures...or Ace Hardware if they have those where you are...I find that the smaller places are more friendly and not douches to women...
That Home Depot kid was... just a kid, it sounds like, and not a very bright one. I ALWAYS have to return to the hardware store for one more washer, bolt, or something or other. This something is inevitably far less expensive than the gasoline and time it takes to procure it. It's par for the course. I remember my ancestors hauling me on the same kind of repeated trips during a project. By the way, I got a little turned on by the mental image of you in a yellow sundress holding a freshly baked apple pie. Is that so wrong?
allie- i did go to lowes to get some extra pieces and the older dude there kinda disregarded my ovary status and helped me find my shit. it was nice.
jim- it is only wrong really because yellow is SO not my color...
Lowes hires the same dickwads.
i have a small pez collection.
and trolls.
murl!
you are awesome.
blarg my day/life is ruined
so awesome.
i think it is vital to live close to a home depot or lowes so that when your day/life is ruined like this, you can repair it with a short drive during which you can flip the bird to old slow drivers and otherwise generally blow off steam.
as a rule young people selling things tend to suck. crusty old people are usually the best.
i spend 300 hours doing nothing online most days.
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